In My Own Backyard.

Are You HEARTBROKEN Yet?

During the month of February I issued you a challenge to complete as part of your Valentine festivities. I asked that you would join me in learning more about trafficking around the world by clicking on a few of the links that I've accumulated at the side of my blog and then take time on the 14th to pray for the victims, survivors and people fighting on the frontlines.

For those of you who followed through with that challenge - THANK YOU!
Learning about what's going on around the world is probably one of the biggest and best things that we can do to begin a strong fight for freedom and the end of human trafficking world wide. It's difficult to pass a test that we've never studied for and by taking time to learn more and pray into innovative solutions you are taking strong steps towards creative solutions. So don't stop now, keep praying, keep learning and keep looking for ways to help.

As part of my own attempt to find out more I began to do research into cases of human trafficking across Canada. In many ways it seems like an issue that is not widely known about or acknowledged as being a problem here. But I have seen several advisory commercials recently educating Canadians about what human trafficking looks like in the Great White North. Forward steps are being made here!

After several failed attempts to find concrete sources about trafficking within Canada's borders I struck gold and discovered a government research paper with online sources listed. As I read through this paper and worked my way through the writer's bibliography I found my attention focused in a direction I did not expect.

Is Trafficking That Bad in Canada?

I know for many people, myself included, when I think of human trafficking I think of Asia. For me the memories of my own first hand encounters in Thailand and Nepal leave me with vivid images, sounds, smells, tastes and emotions regarding the struggles facing the women and girls all across Asia. When I consider trafficking as a more global problem I picture people I met in Mozambique or the youth I worked with in Moldova.
The slavery of Canadian women and girls in human trafficking doesn't cross my mind except to leave a question mark. We don't have that here in Canada, do we? I mean, it does exist but it only affects the immigrant populations from Asia, Europe or South America. Or, if you're really going to get technical, it might include homeless addicts in red light districts like Vancouver's westside. People born in Canada aren't just going missing from their homes. They aren't being lured, tricked or held captive like they are in Asia...right?

We would notice something like that, wouldn't we? There would be a nation wide cry for justice!

Maybe... but maybe not.

500 Missing Women...

Approximately 500 Canadian born women of Aboriginal heritage have gone missing in the past 30 years (Sethi, pg 57, para.1). The trafficking of Aboriginal girls has gone largely unacknowledged and this is evidenced by the fact that we have no statistics tracking the number of victims of domestic sex trafficking in Canada (Sethi, pg 59, para 4). In the absence of statistics directly referring to sex trafficking Anupriya Sethi references the numbers of aboriginal girls recorded as being involved in prostitution or sex work to show that they are grossly overrepresented. In various regions across Canada the percentage of Aboriginal youth involved in prostitution ranges from 14%-60% (Sethi, pg 59, para 4). Sethi continues to disclose on this topic by providing national data describing the percentages of aboriginal girls under the age of 18. Keep in mind that the age of consent in Canada is 16.

"National data in Canada reveals that 75% of Aboriginal girls under the age of 18 have experienced sexual abuse, 50% are under 14, and almost 25% are younger than 7 years of age (Correctional Service of Canada, cited in McIvor and Nahanee, 1998). In Vancouver alone, 60% of sexually exploited youth are Aboriginal (Urban Native Youth Association, 2002). One key informant reported that children as young as 9 are sexually exploited in Saskatoon and the average age of being forced into prostitution is 11 or 12" (Sethi, pg 59, para 4).

That sounds like a lot like the stats we read for human trafficking in Asia to me. There are a lot of reasons that something like this would go unnoticed in Canada. The most notable would be racist tensions and ignorance about what human trafficking actually is and how trafficked victims relate to those who traffick and sell them.

Right now I don't know how to use this information. What I do know is that it has begun to change the way that I think about human trafficking in Canada and it's safe to say that my heart is slowly and surely being broken.

Celebrating A Broken Heart...

The past few weeks I have taken a break from writing in order to think and pray through the enormous amount of choices and opportunities available to me. I've gone back and forth between debriefing my race experiences and considering where missions in my church is headed in the future.

I began this blog with a broken heart and a strong desire to continue learning and discovering the best way to combat human trafficking. The issue still weighs heavily on my heart and as of right now I don't know where the desire to love those caught up in the commercial sex trade and fight for justice is going to lead me. There are several routes that I can see myself taking. In reality I know I will probably take many different roads, go to a great deal of places and in the end find out that through all of the twists and turns I have taken a walk down each of the paths that I feel I have to choose between right now. 

Though I don't know where life is going to take me or how fast I'm going to get there I do know that I am going to do all that I can to continue to be informed and in prayer. It remains my hope that I will inspire you to follow suit.

Tonight I decided to look up one of my favourite sites, Love 146. I love how rich their use of media is to convey the realities of human trafficking and the resources they offer to those wanting to be a part of the solution. As part of a fundraising campaign they have created email Valentine's available by donation. The slogan for the campaign is thought provoking and full of truth:

          When is a broken heart worth celebrating?

                                                        ...when it changes the world.

Along the side of my blog is a long list of links to a variety of sites and books offering more information about the reality of human trafficking here in Canada, in the USA and around the world.

Valentine's Day isn't for another week why not take the time between now and then to learn a little more and then join with me on the 14th to pray for those who are enslaved, those who have been rescued and those who are fighting on the front lines to see others set free.

To help you get started I'm including a trailer to a documentary called 'Very Young Girls' about an organization called GEMS fighting for the rights and restoration of child prostitutes in New York City.  



Organizations mentioned in this blog: http://www.gems-girls.org/ and http://www.love146.org/.

Identity Theft



Soul Graffiti with "Uncle Auto" in India.
Andrew, Cole, Uncle Auto, Chelsea, Nicole, Cathy, Jamie, Jess



You Are What You Think.

"Let your only evaluation of worth derive from the awareness of God's love for you.

All other measures leave one in a state of
delusion." -Anonymous

On the race one of the hardest obstacles I had to overcome was the way that I thought about myself. I went to training camp in October of 2010 heard the lessons about who I am in Christ, about abandonment, walking in true authority, and stepping out in bold faith and I was a teary eyed, snotty mess the whole way through. I cried, I repented, I stood on a chair like the rest of the World Race crazies and I screamed declarations at top of my lungs. When I left the wilderness of Georgia my spirit felt lighter than it had in years. But admittedly I didn't fully understand the significance of the  things that I learned at training camp until I was up to my elbows in community living and the raw realities of the third world.

I landed in Thailand with a mental list of all of my skills and abilities tallied up in the back of my mind. As I was faced with challenges and trials I would refer back to this list obsessively to excuse away my failures and shortcomings. Instead of looking my fears in the eye and calling them out for what they were - bold faced lies - I submitted to them and carefully skirted around their limitations. I now realize that I have lived out most of my life in submission to fear and as a result I believed an astonishing number of lies about who I am and what I am capable of doing.

Chelsea demonstrating the use of brass knuckles on Tye.
Photo by Natasha (Tye) Ritsema.

As the months went by, the challenges got tougher and community living began to wear on me. My teammates started to feedback me about my fears. Bit by bit those layers of fear got pulled off and I began to do things that I had never dreamed of doing before. I started to relax in situations that were a major source of anxiety and stress at the start of the race, even to the point of enjoying myself. And I started to open up my mouth and speak boldly with the kind of confidence I used to only wish I had. As I let go of the fears that I had guarded and clung to for protection I was able to better understand who God is and who he says that I am. I found myself liberated for the very first time and I found within myself a strong will and a determination to fight for change in the lives of the people I encountered.

My words changed. I stopped calling myself a loser, I stopped making excuses to manipulate myself into believing that my fears were justified and I started to repeat the things that I heard God saying about me. Then I began to listen to what God was saying about the people around me and I learned to speak over other people the things that God speaks over them.

Simply put I have value because God loves me. I am well and completely loved. All of the thoughts that God has about me come out of that abundance of love. They are all good and they are more numerous than all of the grains of sand on every seashore. I am loved perfectly and obsessively by God, he adores me. He thinks good things about me and he's not up in heaven saying things like:

     "Geez... I can't believe she didn't add up that total right. That girl is so dumb. It was simple math!"

God doesn't do that. He wouldn't dream of doing that. So why is that the way that I think and talk about myself? Why do I say things like 'I can't...' or 'I'm not good enough to...' when God says that he is all that I need? God promises to be my strength when I am weak and he keeps his promises.

I Am...

The things that we think about affect the way that we act. God says to meditate on his words day and night and the reason he tells us to do it is because if our heads are full of his words we are going to live in his abundance and life. If our heads are full of crappy thinking we're going to spend a lot of days fighting off a bad attitude and find ourselves caught in one stinking mess after another.

Cole and Andrew in Indian Men's Attire.
Photo by Jamie Campbell

Our thoughts influence our attitudes. Our attitude is reflected in the words that we speak and, in turn, those words affect everyone within hearing range. We can speak life or we can bring down death and destruction, it's all in the way we choose to view and react to the world around us. If we live from a basis of anxiety, fear and insecurity or even a place of pride, entitlement or selfishness then we allow the enemy to steal our identity as sons and daughters.

Think about it, if our words have the power to impact the world around us so powerfully what happens when God speaks? An abundance of life is created just like it was way back in Genesis. We are created and sustained by the words of God. The sound of his voice speaking life over us is like the best and healthiest food we could ever eat. It heals our hearts and builds up our bodies. The voice of the enemy is like a poison that slows eats away at our bodies until we have no appitite for the words of God. Honestly it makes the enemy more than happy when we live out of an impoverished mind set and don't dine at God's table. When we catch a hold of who God is and what he says about us the enemy doesn't stand a chance. When the children of God think, act and live like children of God then the armies of Hell have no choice but to look for cover.

When God first introduces himself to his kids in the Bible he gives them a name that is kind of weird:

I Am.

Huh..? It's like he forgot to finish the introduction. Honestly, I had wondered about it but had never questioned it until Andrew spoke about God's name as part of a message he spoke on the race. In a nutshell this is what he said...

God was making a statement to his children. Think of it like a kind of 'fill in the blank'. I Am all you need. I Am your security. I Am your victory. I Am your daily bread. I Am your comfort. I Am the lover of your soul. I Am your redemption. If you need something, anything, I Am the source and the answer to the need, there is no lack in me. It won't always look the way you expect, my ways are not your ways, but my love for you is steadfast and I Am good. I Am blessing you and I Am bringing you into a place of greater freedom and greater joy.  

He really is all we need. He really does love us. He really is enthroned above the enemy and he really is victorious. When we look from heaven's perspective we see victory, we see provision and we see freedom from bondage - the answer to all our troubles!  

HD Living



Okay... I'm going to be cheesy for a minute because sometimes it's the cheesy things that we remember. Everywhere you look people are getting into the idea of High Definition entertainment. Clearer, sharper images that make entertainment leap off the screen and into your living room. This is my challenge for you as well as for myself - go after high definition living.



Warriors Saving the Day. Houston, Andrew and Cole.
Photo by Jamie Campbell (South Africa).

The one who is enthroned on high looks at you and defines you as worthy, loved, beautiful, capable, whole, powerful and influential. God believes in you and he is calling you to live free from all bondage. If you're not sure who God says that you are start to find out. Ask him. Read your Bible. Write it out, remind yourself about it daily and begin to really believe what he says about you because it's all true.

These past couple of days I have realized that without even realizing it I had stopped listening to God's voice and had begun to entertain the voice of the enemy. I found myself afraid, insecure and timid when I know full well that God has not given me a spirit of fear or timidity. Ironically God didn't point it out right away, instead he asked me to write notes of encouragement for other people. As I prayed and wrote to them, building them up and letting them know who God says they are I caught my own hypocrisy. Then God asked, 'Who are YOU Nicole?' This blog is just as much for me as it is for you.

So, seek out the sharper, clearer understanding of who God is and your own identity in him and then start to learn how to live out of the truth of God's higher definition for your life. Pursue HD living.

--------------------------------------------------------

What does God think about you? Who does He say that you are?

Spectators and Story Makers



Singing kids songs in South Africa.

 One Hit Wonder?

Coming off the field after the race my biggest fear was that I would lose momentum and grind to a halt. I know that God has a plan for my life but what if it takes too long to work itself out, what if I get scared, mess things up or simply pick the wrong thing to follow? What happens to the story of my life then?

As I looked upon all of the familiar sights, sounds, tastes and smells of home I found myself wondering if I was nothing but a one hit wonder. I embraced the comforts of home but I also longed for the life I was living on the race and the two began to bicker. I had taken a risk, lived a great story and now I had returned to the place I started out at. It was a struggle to believe that I had made any progress at all and although people were excited to see me I felt like a bit of a disappointment.

The question that I had only momentarily allowed before slowly became one that plagued me.

Am I just a one hit wonder?

A one time adventurer who returns to the comforts of home relieved because, just as I suspected, home is much nicer than the realities of the wide world of wonders I so desperately wanted to explore. Do I lean into the comforts of home, a little more appreciative than before and begin nesting with no desire to ever leave again. When I have children will I simply tell them about that one adventure I went on or will I be the mother who hands them a passport and says, "Come see what God can do!"

How do I live out a great story that continues to take place every day of my life?

Planned Procrastination

I'm a natural dreamer. I have always been good at coming up with ideas and plans but I've always been a little weak on the follow through. I will be the first to admit that I'm simply lazy and a bit afraid of the amount of time, dedication and hard work it takes to create something that will stand the test of time. I have so many ideas, so many passions and desires. I want to be a catalyst for change but what if I pick the wrong story to pursue? What if I start something and then hear God calling me somewhere else? Does that mean I failed at something? What if I change my mind or fall short?

I feel like I have so many options to chose from that I can't pick one out of fear that it won't be the right one.

Cole and Jamie Campbell praying for a man's knee in India.

I wasn't created to be ruled by fears but as I try to plan out the perfect story for my life I end up ruled by things like:

          -Fear of man.
          -Fear of failure.
          -Fear of rejection.

The truth is God has a perfect story for my life and if I follow the open doors he sets before me then I'm going to eventually end up exactly where I need to be. I'm never going to be trapped in one place or another. Chances are, like with the race, my time in one place will be up and I'll be reluctant to embrace the change.

In reality that's what I'm dealing with right now. A call to change and my own reluctancy to step into it because I know that the initial step of faith is just the start, a million more steps of faith will be required to support it and keep things moving forward. In my own stupidity I spend my prayer times considering the consequence of one particular choice over another explaining to God the pros and cons with closed ears. Then I wonder why I'm so confused!

I can't number the times on the race when I was faced with opportunities to step out in faith and trust God for a miraculous return. If I really trust that God is good and have no suspicions about the reality of his love or the identity that I have in him then I will not hesitate to step out of my comfort zone into the unknown story that he has been writing for me since the beginning of time.

I have been planning since I got back from the race. I have been stressing about the details and the options trying to map out my life as the perfect story. I have allowed my prayer times to become more about adding to my confusion than they are about giving me peace and helping me to move forward. I could go on and on about how hard it is to make decisions or how afraid I am to make the wrong one. While it's true that decision making can be difficult I would be a liar if I didn't admit that I make it more difficult than it needs to be. All I really need to do is give up control, allow God to be the master story writer and look for the next cue that he provides for me.

I want to do that but the truth is I'm scared to step out in faith. Planning momentarily satisfies my desire for some kind of action but in the back of my mind I know that what I really need to do is stop procrastinating, trust God and act on his leading.

In A Pit On A Snowy Day...

This past Sunday Lakeview's new pastor Brian Dean preached on a story that my own team taught to the kids we worked with in Nepal. He talked about the faith of Benaiah, the head of King David's body guard. His story is found in 2 Samuel 23:20.

Benaiah son of Jehoiada was a valiant fighter from Kabzeel, who performed great exploits. He struck down two of Moab's best men. He also went down into a pit on a snowy day and killed a lion.

When we told the story to the kids we focused on the nature of the God that Benaiah served. We explained that our God is good and he cares for us. We can face any lion and overcome any trial we will ever have to face because our God is greater than all of them. Benaiah knew and trusted his God so when he seen that lion he had faith that God would protect him in the battle and didn't hesitate to jump into the pit and defeat the lion. Our challenge to the kids was for them to be warriors of great faith, lion chasers in the kingdom of God.

This Sunday Pastor talked about fear, why we hesitate to jump into the pit with the lion and why we should overcome our fear to take the leap of faith. The point that stood out to me that most as he spoke was that the circumstances around killing the lion and claiming our inheritance will never be perfect. There is always going to be something holding us back from doing what God calls us to do. Maybe it will be a lack of education, finances or resources or perhaps it's going to be something family related like a new baby or a death in the family.

It was pointed out that the circumstances surrounding Benaiah's act of faith were not perfect either. In fact they were probably the worst lion chasing circumstances one could have imagined. Lets just break it down a bit:

          #1. We're talking about killing a lion - with a sword, spear or bare hands.
          #2. This lion is in a pit - there's no place to run away or hide.
          #3. It's snowy - wet, slippery and cold.

Not good odds for poor Benaiah. But that doesn't stop him from leaping into the pit and killing the lion anyways. You see faith is an action word. We can talk about faith until we're blue in the face but unless we stop talking and act on it we're not actually living our faith.



Photo by Jamie Campbell.
Pastor Borris, his wife and youngest daughter.

 In Moldova my team worked with one of the most amazing men of faith that I have ever met. Pastor Borris moved his family to Cantemir to plant a church there at one of the most critical points in the towns history. There was no water or electricity due to the closure of the factory that provided the livelihood for the residents of the town. No work meant no food or heat and at the time the town didn't have water. It was freezing in the middle of winter and his wife was quite far along in her pregnancy with their first son but they lived alongside the people and fought to help out in whatever way they could. Pastor Borris told us that it was common to enter a house and find someone who had frozen to death in the night. His family stayed even after they nearly lost his son and his wife due to the harsh conditions.

Today there is a church in Cantemir and several other church plants in nearby villages and towns because of the step of faith taken by Pastor Borris and his family. Because of his trust that God would take care of his family changes are taking place in and around Cantemir that will eventually change the entire nation. God positioned his family and now they are living out an amazing story.

I have seen the victories, miracles and blessings that come from taking a step of faith. I know that growth and maturity comes from facing trials and overcoming great odds. I know how hard the process of stepping out in faith can be but I also know that I serve a Big God who meets me in my weaknesses and blesses me exponentially. He is trustworthy and he does want what's best for me.

I know that in order to live the better story that God has for my life I have to trust that he it the ultimate story maker, allow him to take care of me and take action by stepping out in faith. I know that I'm not meant to be a one hit wonder. I don't want to simply write about the great adventure I had on the race, I want to live more and better adventures. I want my whole life to be an adventure in pursuit of the things God is calling me to.

So I guess I have a choice to make.

Will I believe that God is the ultimate story maker and step out in faith trusting his direction or will I play it safe and be a spectator at the edge of the pit never knowing what it's like to kill a lion? 

----------------------------------

A man of faith is also full of courage. 

-Marcus Tullius Cicero 

Last Years Resolutions This Year...

January First: The Adult Version of the First Day of School.

Chelsea B., Callie and Jess on a day off in Malaysia.

A squeaky clean opportunity to reflect upon the failures and triumphs of the year behind us and start out fresh and new.

Most of us step into the New Year believing that we can climb any mountain, scale any height and generally do and be better people than we ever have before.

Among the top resolutions on an average list of New Year's Resolutions you might find things like:

1. Lose Weight and Get Healthy.
2. Get Out of Debt.
3. Spend More Time With Family and Friends.
4. Get Organized.
5. Enjoy Life More.
6. Quit Smoking.

For those of us within the church making resolutions usually means a renewed focus on our relationship with God. We may resolve to do things like:

1. Read the Bible.
2. Maintian a Regular Quiet Time.
3. Pray More.
4. Find Time to Volunteer.
5. Share More Openly.
6. Try Fasting.  

This year, as every year, the thought of thinking up a resolution for the New Year is a daunting task. Years of experiences have proved to me that while I am excellent at pin pointing areas in my life that require change I am a little less excellent on the follow through. It is easy for me to see the problems in my life because they are in my face every day. Sometimes I'm even witty enough to come up with some pretty good solutions to those problems. The thing is writing out those resolutions doesn't immediately solve anything. It just marks up a blank sheet.

Failed Attempts and Good Intentions.

There is a will power, follow through, self discipline aspect that cannot be removed from the 'resolving' process that makes it what it is. Unfortunately my own track record with resolutions is riddled with failed attempts and good intentions. I would be willing to bet that I am not alone in that area. In some ways the whole tradition of making resolutions is kind of crazy. Logic would say that years of bad experiences and failed attempts should have gotten through to us by now. Yet the freedom and release of a new start is what our human hearts crave more than anything and New Year's is our chance to once again look forward with earnest hope.



Some things are beyond our control. A sick child in Australia.


The thing about New Years resolutions is that often they start out with "I". It's about my efforts, my actions, my resolve. In essence we are saying that we will purpose to do things in order to improve our life and standard of living.

In and of itself that's not necessarily wrong. It's good to pursue healthy living, to enjoy life and family, to take care of and learn to manage money well, to seek out volunteer work, regular bible study or prayer times - all of those are exemplary things to do and we should do them. However we should not do them out of our own strength, we should not place the weight solely on "I" to get them done.

A common theme that is carried through out the Bible is man's determination to live and prosper outside of God's strength accompanied by God's mercy, discipline and sacrifice pointing to the truth: without God's intervention man is hopelessly lost. One story in particular comes to mind as a very good example of failed human efforts and God's intervention.

The Israelites have been miraculously freed from years of gruelling slavery in Egypt. They have seen the power and might of a God who has effectively dethroned and crushed every single Egyptian god in order to redeem the people that he has selected as his own. They are to be set apart. Different.

God's spokesman, Moses, leads them away and into the desert where they are to meet with God and enter into the land that he has promised to them. God officially invites them to become His special people and they resolve to do just that. However there is a catch, being God's special people means living up to Gods righteous standards. Moses goes up the moutain for a training session on righteousness while the people hang out in camp waiting for him to get back. Then they get bored. They lose their resolve and they screw up big time by creating and worshiping a golden calf.

Maybe God was too slow getting the rules back to them or maybe he was trying to make a point.
Under their own power they simply could not keep the rules. In the New Testament Paul explains to us that the law is like a school master pointing us to Christ. When we consider the law it is like looking into a mirror and realizing just how far away we really are from God's standard of righteousness and just how much we are dependant upon His salvation and strength to get by.

I Resolve... 

This past year has been amazing. Around this time last January I made no resolutions. Instead I made a decision to trust that God is who he says he is and I followed it up with a step of faith as I got on an airplane for Thailand. Since that time I have hopped in the back of trucks, rode on buses, in vans, tuk tuks, auto's and stumbled onto trains. I have travelled to 11 distinct locations and I have seen God move in miraculous ways in my life and in the lives of people the world over. The whole thing was crazy and amazing but it was still only the start.

2011 was a year of ground breaking. Together God and I dug up some of the twisted and gnarled lies entangling my heart and replaced them with truth. We uncovered and encountered my fears and insecurities in order to restore my identity, value and purpose. We worked side by side within the nations and as we grew closer our conversations grew deeper. We tore down things that were holding me back and we began the long hard work of building up a solid foundation of truth.



Old photo of me looking in a rearview mirror.

 Every other year I have viewed the end of the year as redemptive. My heart sighs in relief because I finally get a chance to make up for my short comings from the previous year. I focus on my failures and I resolve to correct and solve each and every one of them as though last years track record has been completely whited out. The thing is even though I have this new year and the resolve to do better I still remember what used to be listed on that record. I remember the way I started out good, fell short, and eventually just forgot about the whole thing. Even with all of the strength and determination I can muster those past failures hang over me taunting my efforts - I just can't let them go. It's like I'm driving a car with my eyes locked on the rearview mirror.

Some Christians live that way. Even though they are saved and completely forgiven they live and define themselves by their past and simply can't let it go. I used to be one of them. This past year God has worked with me to help me deal with the past and direct my focus to what's up ahead. Finally my life has a resemblance of order and I'm actually moving forward.I am not defined by who I used to be and I am not held to my past failures to succeed or follow through.

Today is a new day, the first one of a brand new year but I'm not really looking for a brand new slate. I don't want to start over I just want to keep going. I want to keep doing what I've been doing all year and build onto the foundation I've already begun to lay down. I want to focus on my celebrations and the challenges I've overcome with joy and determination to continue living life as an overcomer. I want to keep running the race I've already started.

I guess if I had to make a resolution that would be it. I resolve to keep running the race.

 --------------------

Most people never run far enough on their first wind to find out that they have a second.

                                          -William James.

Schrödinger's Cat




Cole and Callie in Ukraine

  Next Things Next... 

      Since returning home I have been trying to tackle the 'Big Question' that everyone who asks me about my trip eventually gets around to:

What are you going to do next?

       Well... I don't know, follow my passion, dream big and take another leap of faith I guess. Just before I returned home Adventures in Missions launched a brand new project called 'Kingdom Dreams'. A few weeks ago I met with Neil, a KD consultant, via skype to talk about my experiences on the race, my passions, plans and options. (For your own consultation check out the KD website: http://www.kingdom-dreams.org/).

       The great thing about KD is that it's not just for World Racers, it's for everyone who knows that God has a plan for their lives and needs help, resources, contacts or encouragement to make it happen. In some ways the program is reminiscent of Rick Warren's book Purpose Driven Life. On the Kingdom Dreams blog they break down the process of finding, working towards and living out your dream into a few simple steps: 

       1. Discover your passion
       2. Explore options related to your passion

       3. Begin to build and plan your dream

       4. Launch into your dream



My Dream...

       The first question Neil asked me was: what are you passionate about?




Me at Asha Nepal helping to make candles.



       Preventing and putting an end to injustice, especially where children are concerned, with a focus on abolishing human trafficking. You might have already noticed the long list of links at the side of my blog, the majority of sites listed are for organizations fighting human trafficking through prevention, rehabilition and restoration. For months now I have been looking up different organizations, learning about how they work and exploring my options for involvement. One day I hope to work alongside one of these organizations and maybe even begin one of my own. 

       Through my exploration I discovered that I want to work with media in order to educate people about the issues surrounding human trafficking. It's a huge issue with global impact but very few voices are raised to cry out for justice. I want to use my voice and act as an advocate on behalf of millions of women and children trapped in the industry around the globe. I hope to accomplish this through things like writing a blog, researching and presenting the facts, creating videos, maybe even by writing a book or taking photographs. I want to educate the public in a way that empowers them. 

     I also want to work on the frontlines. For as long as I can remember I have wanted to build a school/home for at risk children. At the time I didn't have a focus or clear understanding of how that might look, now based on the exploration I've done I'm starting to figure it out. At this point I know that trades and business training will have to be included and that classes will be provided for women as well as for children.    



Cat-In-The-Box...

       So I have some big ambitions and I've figured out a few details which is great but where do they lead me? Right now I'm praying about what my next move will be and I'm feeling a little overwhelmed and frightened by my array of choices. I want to make the right or best choice. As a result I keep bouncing around between my options allowing worry to crease my forehead while I find little to no resolution for my problem. Fear of man and fear of the unknown seems to drive the cycle as I go back and forth between my options. I know that when I choose to entertain fear I am choosing to stop believing the truths and promises God makes to me. 

       Since arriving back from the race I have taken to watching The Big Bang Theory after supper with my Dad. On the last episode that I watched the two main characters, Penny and Leonard, consider beginning a relationship with each other. Both of them express fears that doing so would destroy the friendship that they already have and a hope that the change in their relationship could be really good for them. In turn each of them seeks the advice of their friend Sheldon. Through their struggle God gave me the encouragement and confirmation I needed for my next step of faith.



catinboxkevinsteeleflickerphoto.jpg
(whitenoiseinsanity.com)



Sheldon gives them the following example in order to guide their decision making:

"Anyway, in 1935 Erwin Schrodinger, in an attempt to explain the Copenhagen interpretation of Quantum Physics, he proposed an experiment where a cat is placed in a box with a sealed vial of poison that will break open at a random time. Now, since no one knows when or if the poison has been released, until the box is opened, the cat can be thought as both alive and dead.

Just like Schrodinger's cat, your potential relationship with Leonard right now can be thought of as both good and bad. It is only by opening the box that you will find out which it is." 



      Here's the thing. I have a few decisions to make that, metaphorically speaking, require me to open up a few boxes. What's inside of those boxes could turn out to be good or bad but I will never know if I just stand by and allow fear to keep me from opening them up. If I don't give it a try and open up the box then the good that could come out of the box isn't going to be possible, in fact the 'cat' might die of starvation waiting to be let out. If I do open up the box and to find a dead cat then I can bury it and move on. Either way I'll never know unless I take a risk and pull the lid off.

The only person who never makes mistakes is the person who never does anything.

                                                                                               -Denis Waitley

Same Same, But Different...

11 Countries in 11 Months 

 Kathmandu Valley, Nepal


        This past year I have had the priviledge to travel around the world as a participant in a program called the World Race (http://www.theworldrace.org/) run by an organization called Adventures in Missions. The WR is probably the craziest Christian missions trip for young adults that you will ever find. Participants travel to 11 different countries in 11 months, they live out of a backpack side by side with the poor and work with a wide variety of different organizations that cater to an array of different social issues. If you're interested in missions work or want to see what God is doing around the globe this is definately an option you should consider.

        I left in January and arrived home only a few short weeks ago. My experience on the race was amazing and I can honestly tell you that my life has literally been changed forever. My own interest in missions dates back to my early childhood but I had no actual on the field experience and I didn't feel like I had a solid call to one nation or a good understanding of how my gifts and talents might fit in. I went on the race to try things out, test the waters, get my feet wet and maybe, just maybe find a little direction.

What's Life on the Race Like?

       There are certain physical things that I worried about prior to the race; for example eating bugs and pretending to be happy about it. I was certain that the challenges would be overwhelming and I seriously doubted my ability to rise above them. When I arrived in Thailand, the first country on my route, I did face some of the stress inducing tramau's that I had imagined but they weren't quite as difficult as I had expected. Strange food, squatty's, bucket showers (no showers), hand washing clothing, language and even cultural differences were a challenge but not in the extreme way that I had anticipated. As the months flew by I became used to minimal living and even genuinely enjoyed and looked forward to it.



Me, Callie and Jess in Swaziland.

         Other aspects of the race, (*ahem community living), were more challenging and stayed that way the whole time. When you live in tight quarters with 4 or 5 other people, generally the only other individuals who speak your language in places and situations where you can't just take off by yourself there are bound to be a few issues. Learning to work things out, be honest with each other and still love each other at the end of the day like the Bible encourages is tough work.

          My contact in Mozambique made a pointed observation that it's not challenges with ministry that cause missionaries to go home, it's other missionaries. That really is the truth and I believe it's reflected in the divisions within the church today. My team found out first hand that sometimes you have to fight against your own insecurities and give up assumed rights and entitlements in order to love someone else. You have to choose to love even when the action calls for sacrifice and may cause you some discomfort.

       11 countries in 11 months sounds like a pretty big adventure and believe me it is. Perhaps you're thinking that I am some bold adventurer with supernatural courage, a natural outgoing nature or some other great characteristic that obviously sets me apart from everyone else. She did the race because she's 'that' kind of girl, I could never go because I'm just not like her. Honestly I'm really not 'that' kind of girl. I'm not really brave, I'm extremely quiet, I get overwhelmed and it took me 3 whole years to build up the courage to apply for the race. I was scared to death when I got on that plane to go to Thailand but I knew that I had to do it. I have always been interested in issues that are affecting people around the world, things like poverty, HIV/AID's, genocide or human trafficking. I've cried through documentaries and television commercials for World Vision, read article after article and wished that I could somehow be involved. I wanted God to break my heart with the things that break his. I prayed for it and one day after 3 years of wishing I was brave enough I realized that unless I took a step forward now I would never go anywhere. I don't regret taking that step.

Welcome to Life as a WR Alumni...

      So what do you do after you've had your heart broken by the pain in the world?

     How do you interact with people after living in a community that fights for unity and strives after a higher standard of love?

    Where do you fit into a materialistic society hell bent on checking items off their Christmas list after witnessing poverty and realizing that your 65L pack full of gear is a luxery item?

    What does your life look like? How do you live? Where is your focus?

How do you bring the RACE home?

     Honestly I don't exactly know. Right now I am in the middle of a transition, the technical name is reculturalisation. I am re-entering life at home in Canada. It's hard in ways that I didn't expect. My number one concern and struggle is finding my place. In Asia a popular t-shirt says: Same Same, But Different. It's a joke about bartering techniques in the markets but it fits the way I feel right now. Home is the same, but in the same stroke it's so different. Or maybe it's me that has changed. Either way I feel a little lost and overwhelmed by it all. I don't want to lose momentum but I'm not sure how to live the same out of the box, World Race style life within the borders of my own country.

     In a nutshell that is the goal and purpose of this blog. To reflect upon and remember the things I learned while on the race and to explore and pursue the same radical abandonment in the here and now. It is my hope and my goal to inspire and challenge you to seek something more. To step away from living up to the status quo and merely existing 9-5 to get by in order to pursue a much greater purpose for your life.

       I want to leave you with a quote by Thomas Edison:

"If we all did the things we are capable of, we would literally astound ourselves."