Schrödinger's Cat




Cole and Callie in Ukraine

  Next Things Next... 

      Since returning home I have been trying to tackle the 'Big Question' that everyone who asks me about my trip eventually gets around to:

What are you going to do next?

       Well... I don't know, follow my passion, dream big and take another leap of faith I guess. Just before I returned home Adventures in Missions launched a brand new project called 'Kingdom Dreams'. A few weeks ago I met with Neil, a KD consultant, via skype to talk about my experiences on the race, my passions, plans and options. (For your own consultation check out the KD website: http://www.kingdom-dreams.org/).

       The great thing about KD is that it's not just for World Racers, it's for everyone who knows that God has a plan for their lives and needs help, resources, contacts or encouragement to make it happen. In some ways the program is reminiscent of Rick Warren's book Purpose Driven Life. On the Kingdom Dreams blog they break down the process of finding, working towards and living out your dream into a few simple steps: 

       1. Discover your passion
       2. Explore options related to your passion

       3. Begin to build and plan your dream

       4. Launch into your dream



My Dream...

       The first question Neil asked me was: what are you passionate about?




Me at Asha Nepal helping to make candles.



       Preventing and putting an end to injustice, especially where children are concerned, with a focus on abolishing human trafficking. You might have already noticed the long list of links at the side of my blog, the majority of sites listed are for organizations fighting human trafficking through prevention, rehabilition and restoration. For months now I have been looking up different organizations, learning about how they work and exploring my options for involvement. One day I hope to work alongside one of these organizations and maybe even begin one of my own. 

       Through my exploration I discovered that I want to work with media in order to educate people about the issues surrounding human trafficking. It's a huge issue with global impact but very few voices are raised to cry out for justice. I want to use my voice and act as an advocate on behalf of millions of women and children trapped in the industry around the globe. I hope to accomplish this through things like writing a blog, researching and presenting the facts, creating videos, maybe even by writing a book or taking photographs. I want to educate the public in a way that empowers them. 

     I also want to work on the frontlines. For as long as I can remember I have wanted to build a school/home for at risk children. At the time I didn't have a focus or clear understanding of how that might look, now based on the exploration I've done I'm starting to figure it out. At this point I know that trades and business training will have to be included and that classes will be provided for women as well as for children.    



Cat-In-The-Box...

       So I have some big ambitions and I've figured out a few details which is great but where do they lead me? Right now I'm praying about what my next move will be and I'm feeling a little overwhelmed and frightened by my array of choices. I want to make the right or best choice. As a result I keep bouncing around between my options allowing worry to crease my forehead while I find little to no resolution for my problem. Fear of man and fear of the unknown seems to drive the cycle as I go back and forth between my options. I know that when I choose to entertain fear I am choosing to stop believing the truths and promises God makes to me. 

       Since arriving back from the race I have taken to watching The Big Bang Theory after supper with my Dad. On the last episode that I watched the two main characters, Penny and Leonard, consider beginning a relationship with each other. Both of them express fears that doing so would destroy the friendship that they already have and a hope that the change in their relationship could be really good for them. In turn each of them seeks the advice of their friend Sheldon. Through their struggle God gave me the encouragement and confirmation I needed for my next step of faith.



catinboxkevinsteeleflickerphoto.jpg
(whitenoiseinsanity.com)



Sheldon gives them the following example in order to guide their decision making:

"Anyway, in 1935 Erwin Schrodinger, in an attempt to explain the Copenhagen interpretation of Quantum Physics, he proposed an experiment where a cat is placed in a box with a sealed vial of poison that will break open at a random time. Now, since no one knows when or if the poison has been released, until the box is opened, the cat can be thought as both alive and dead.

Just like Schrodinger's cat, your potential relationship with Leonard right now can be thought of as both good and bad. It is only by opening the box that you will find out which it is." 



      Here's the thing. I have a few decisions to make that, metaphorically speaking, require me to open up a few boxes. What's inside of those boxes could turn out to be good or bad but I will never know if I just stand by and allow fear to keep me from opening them up. If I don't give it a try and open up the box then the good that could come out of the box isn't going to be possible, in fact the 'cat' might die of starvation waiting to be let out. If I do open up the box and to find a dead cat then I can bury it and move on. Either way I'll never know unless I take a risk and pull the lid off.

The only person who never makes mistakes is the person who never does anything.

                                                                                               -Denis Waitley

Same Same, But Different...

11 Countries in 11 Months 

 Kathmandu Valley, Nepal


        This past year I have had the priviledge to travel around the world as a participant in a program called the World Race (http://www.theworldrace.org/) run by an organization called Adventures in Missions. The WR is probably the craziest Christian missions trip for young adults that you will ever find. Participants travel to 11 different countries in 11 months, they live out of a backpack side by side with the poor and work with a wide variety of different organizations that cater to an array of different social issues. If you're interested in missions work or want to see what God is doing around the globe this is definately an option you should consider.

        I left in January and arrived home only a few short weeks ago. My experience on the race was amazing and I can honestly tell you that my life has literally been changed forever. My own interest in missions dates back to my early childhood but I had no actual on the field experience and I didn't feel like I had a solid call to one nation or a good understanding of how my gifts and talents might fit in. I went on the race to try things out, test the waters, get my feet wet and maybe, just maybe find a little direction.

What's Life on the Race Like?

       There are certain physical things that I worried about prior to the race; for example eating bugs and pretending to be happy about it. I was certain that the challenges would be overwhelming and I seriously doubted my ability to rise above them. When I arrived in Thailand, the first country on my route, I did face some of the stress inducing tramau's that I had imagined but they weren't quite as difficult as I had expected. Strange food, squatty's, bucket showers (no showers), hand washing clothing, language and even cultural differences were a challenge but not in the extreme way that I had anticipated. As the months flew by I became used to minimal living and even genuinely enjoyed and looked forward to it.



Me, Callie and Jess in Swaziland.

         Other aspects of the race, (*ahem community living), were more challenging and stayed that way the whole time. When you live in tight quarters with 4 or 5 other people, generally the only other individuals who speak your language in places and situations where you can't just take off by yourself there are bound to be a few issues. Learning to work things out, be honest with each other and still love each other at the end of the day like the Bible encourages is tough work.

          My contact in Mozambique made a pointed observation that it's not challenges with ministry that cause missionaries to go home, it's other missionaries. That really is the truth and I believe it's reflected in the divisions within the church today. My team found out first hand that sometimes you have to fight against your own insecurities and give up assumed rights and entitlements in order to love someone else. You have to choose to love even when the action calls for sacrifice and may cause you some discomfort.

       11 countries in 11 months sounds like a pretty big adventure and believe me it is. Perhaps you're thinking that I am some bold adventurer with supernatural courage, a natural outgoing nature or some other great characteristic that obviously sets me apart from everyone else. She did the race because she's 'that' kind of girl, I could never go because I'm just not like her. Honestly I'm really not 'that' kind of girl. I'm not really brave, I'm extremely quiet, I get overwhelmed and it took me 3 whole years to build up the courage to apply for the race. I was scared to death when I got on that plane to go to Thailand but I knew that I had to do it. I have always been interested in issues that are affecting people around the world, things like poverty, HIV/AID's, genocide or human trafficking. I've cried through documentaries and television commercials for World Vision, read article after article and wished that I could somehow be involved. I wanted God to break my heart with the things that break his. I prayed for it and one day after 3 years of wishing I was brave enough I realized that unless I took a step forward now I would never go anywhere. I don't regret taking that step.

Welcome to Life as a WR Alumni...

      So what do you do after you've had your heart broken by the pain in the world?

     How do you interact with people after living in a community that fights for unity and strives after a higher standard of love?

    Where do you fit into a materialistic society hell bent on checking items off their Christmas list after witnessing poverty and realizing that your 65L pack full of gear is a luxery item?

    What does your life look like? How do you live? Where is your focus?

How do you bring the RACE home?

     Honestly I don't exactly know. Right now I am in the middle of a transition, the technical name is reculturalisation. I am re-entering life at home in Canada. It's hard in ways that I didn't expect. My number one concern and struggle is finding my place. In Asia a popular t-shirt says: Same Same, But Different. It's a joke about bartering techniques in the markets but it fits the way I feel right now. Home is the same, but in the same stroke it's so different. Or maybe it's me that has changed. Either way I feel a little lost and overwhelmed by it all. I don't want to lose momentum but I'm not sure how to live the same out of the box, World Race style life within the borders of my own country.

     In a nutshell that is the goal and purpose of this blog. To reflect upon and remember the things I learned while on the race and to explore and pursue the same radical abandonment in the here and now. It is my hope and my goal to inspire and challenge you to seek something more. To step away from living up to the status quo and merely existing 9-5 to get by in order to pursue a much greater purpose for your life.

       I want to leave you with a quote by Thomas Edison:

"If we all did the things we are capable of, we would literally astound ourselves."