Spectators and Story Makers



Singing kids songs in South Africa.

 One Hit Wonder?

Coming off the field after the race my biggest fear was that I would lose momentum and grind to a halt. I know that God has a plan for my life but what if it takes too long to work itself out, what if I get scared, mess things up or simply pick the wrong thing to follow? What happens to the story of my life then?

As I looked upon all of the familiar sights, sounds, tastes and smells of home I found myself wondering if I was nothing but a one hit wonder. I embraced the comforts of home but I also longed for the life I was living on the race and the two began to bicker. I had taken a risk, lived a great story and now I had returned to the place I started out at. It was a struggle to believe that I had made any progress at all and although people were excited to see me I felt like a bit of a disappointment.

The question that I had only momentarily allowed before slowly became one that plagued me.

Am I just a one hit wonder?

A one time adventurer who returns to the comforts of home relieved because, just as I suspected, home is much nicer than the realities of the wide world of wonders I so desperately wanted to explore. Do I lean into the comforts of home, a little more appreciative than before and begin nesting with no desire to ever leave again. When I have children will I simply tell them about that one adventure I went on or will I be the mother who hands them a passport and says, "Come see what God can do!"

How do I live out a great story that continues to take place every day of my life?

Planned Procrastination

I'm a natural dreamer. I have always been good at coming up with ideas and plans but I've always been a little weak on the follow through. I will be the first to admit that I'm simply lazy and a bit afraid of the amount of time, dedication and hard work it takes to create something that will stand the test of time. I have so many ideas, so many passions and desires. I want to be a catalyst for change but what if I pick the wrong story to pursue? What if I start something and then hear God calling me somewhere else? Does that mean I failed at something? What if I change my mind or fall short?

I feel like I have so many options to chose from that I can't pick one out of fear that it won't be the right one.

Cole and Jamie Campbell praying for a man's knee in India.

I wasn't created to be ruled by fears but as I try to plan out the perfect story for my life I end up ruled by things like:

          -Fear of man.
          -Fear of failure.
          -Fear of rejection.

The truth is God has a perfect story for my life and if I follow the open doors he sets before me then I'm going to eventually end up exactly where I need to be. I'm never going to be trapped in one place or another. Chances are, like with the race, my time in one place will be up and I'll be reluctant to embrace the change.

In reality that's what I'm dealing with right now. A call to change and my own reluctancy to step into it because I know that the initial step of faith is just the start, a million more steps of faith will be required to support it and keep things moving forward. In my own stupidity I spend my prayer times considering the consequence of one particular choice over another explaining to God the pros and cons with closed ears. Then I wonder why I'm so confused!

I can't number the times on the race when I was faced with opportunities to step out in faith and trust God for a miraculous return. If I really trust that God is good and have no suspicions about the reality of his love or the identity that I have in him then I will not hesitate to step out of my comfort zone into the unknown story that he has been writing for me since the beginning of time.

I have been planning since I got back from the race. I have been stressing about the details and the options trying to map out my life as the perfect story. I have allowed my prayer times to become more about adding to my confusion than they are about giving me peace and helping me to move forward. I could go on and on about how hard it is to make decisions or how afraid I am to make the wrong one. While it's true that decision making can be difficult I would be a liar if I didn't admit that I make it more difficult than it needs to be. All I really need to do is give up control, allow God to be the master story writer and look for the next cue that he provides for me.

I want to do that but the truth is I'm scared to step out in faith. Planning momentarily satisfies my desire for some kind of action but in the back of my mind I know that what I really need to do is stop procrastinating, trust God and act on his leading.

In A Pit On A Snowy Day...

This past Sunday Lakeview's new pastor Brian Dean preached on a story that my own team taught to the kids we worked with in Nepal. He talked about the faith of Benaiah, the head of King David's body guard. His story is found in 2 Samuel 23:20.

Benaiah son of Jehoiada was a valiant fighter from Kabzeel, who performed great exploits. He struck down two of Moab's best men. He also went down into a pit on a snowy day and killed a lion.

When we told the story to the kids we focused on the nature of the God that Benaiah served. We explained that our God is good and he cares for us. We can face any lion and overcome any trial we will ever have to face because our God is greater than all of them. Benaiah knew and trusted his God so when he seen that lion he had faith that God would protect him in the battle and didn't hesitate to jump into the pit and defeat the lion. Our challenge to the kids was for them to be warriors of great faith, lion chasers in the kingdom of God.

This Sunday Pastor talked about fear, why we hesitate to jump into the pit with the lion and why we should overcome our fear to take the leap of faith. The point that stood out to me that most as he spoke was that the circumstances around killing the lion and claiming our inheritance will never be perfect. There is always going to be something holding us back from doing what God calls us to do. Maybe it will be a lack of education, finances or resources or perhaps it's going to be something family related like a new baby or a death in the family.

It was pointed out that the circumstances surrounding Benaiah's act of faith were not perfect either. In fact they were probably the worst lion chasing circumstances one could have imagined. Lets just break it down a bit:

          #1. We're talking about killing a lion - with a sword, spear or bare hands.
          #2. This lion is in a pit - there's no place to run away or hide.
          #3. It's snowy - wet, slippery and cold.

Not good odds for poor Benaiah. But that doesn't stop him from leaping into the pit and killing the lion anyways. You see faith is an action word. We can talk about faith until we're blue in the face but unless we stop talking and act on it we're not actually living our faith.



Photo by Jamie Campbell.
Pastor Borris, his wife and youngest daughter.

 In Moldova my team worked with one of the most amazing men of faith that I have ever met. Pastor Borris moved his family to Cantemir to plant a church there at one of the most critical points in the towns history. There was no water or electricity due to the closure of the factory that provided the livelihood for the residents of the town. No work meant no food or heat and at the time the town didn't have water. It was freezing in the middle of winter and his wife was quite far along in her pregnancy with their first son but they lived alongside the people and fought to help out in whatever way they could. Pastor Borris told us that it was common to enter a house and find someone who had frozen to death in the night. His family stayed even after they nearly lost his son and his wife due to the harsh conditions.

Today there is a church in Cantemir and several other church plants in nearby villages and towns because of the step of faith taken by Pastor Borris and his family. Because of his trust that God would take care of his family changes are taking place in and around Cantemir that will eventually change the entire nation. God positioned his family and now they are living out an amazing story.

I have seen the victories, miracles and blessings that come from taking a step of faith. I know that growth and maturity comes from facing trials and overcoming great odds. I know how hard the process of stepping out in faith can be but I also know that I serve a Big God who meets me in my weaknesses and blesses me exponentially. He is trustworthy and he does want what's best for me.

I know that in order to live the better story that God has for my life I have to trust that he it the ultimate story maker, allow him to take care of me and take action by stepping out in faith. I know that I'm not meant to be a one hit wonder. I don't want to simply write about the great adventure I had on the race, I want to live more and better adventures. I want my whole life to be an adventure in pursuit of the things God is calling me to.

So I guess I have a choice to make.

Will I believe that God is the ultimate story maker and step out in faith trusting his direction or will I play it safe and be a spectator at the edge of the pit never knowing what it's like to kill a lion? 

----------------------------------

A man of faith is also full of courage. 

-Marcus Tullius Cicero